Class In A Coat

Wedding night advice for bridegrooms

A Toastmaster's knowledge of all things wedding is oft deemed to be boundless and true, this is by and large the impression we try to give. However, there are limits and I consider my limit passed if I am asked to give wedding night advice to the bridegroom.

Perhaps this is linked in with a post I made a few months ago about someone doing the wedding reception rounds creating sculptures with his genitalia.  Apparently The Last Turkey and The Bat are particular favourites.

Bear with me gentle reader, I am coming to the point here.

It is completely understandable that anyone would want to look their best on their wedding night as well as during the day, both bride and bridegroom. This is a natural thing. And talking of natural things....

Body hair.

The current fashion is for body hair to be removed. From all kinds of different parts of the body.

For men there are a number of ways that this hair can be removed.  The most obvious is of course shaving.  Tried, tested and trusted.  There are also chemical ways of removing hair.

When using chemicals men have to be very careful where they apply them.  This is borne out by a series of reviews on Amazon about a product called Veet.  Click this link, read and enjoy.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_summary?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending

Well then, back to business.

I have a wedding this weekend for Michelle and Shaun. Michelle saw me work when Thoresby Hall was doing weddings and so booked me ages ago for this weekend.  It's all on very familiar ground.  The Wedding Ceremony is in Edwinstowe Church where, as everyone knows Robin Hood married Maid Marion

 The reception is at Norwood Park near Southwell.

Another booking just come in for next week is for a formal dinner for The Lords Taverners at St Martin's House in Leicester.  Three or four hundred people are expected so should be pretty busy.  That's the way Toastmaster's like it!

I know so many of you are now waiting with bated breath to know how the Frisby-on-the-Wreake allotmenteers' piglets are doing.  No-one knows.  They have become Ninja pigs.  Masters of disguise, camouflage and..................................

 comedy.

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

Suits you sir!

It does indeed!  After much patience from the superb "Suit Yourself" tailors in Granby Street in Leicester (0116 255 3772) I have my new Toastmaster Coat.

It is gorgeous, and so hopefully Class In A Coat will continue to look pretty smart.

It has been a busy week.  

A simply fabulous wedding at Wrest Park last Saturday for Amar and Krupali.   The sun shone and the venue was stunning.  It really has to be one of the best sites for photographs anywhere, and the photographer I worked with, Prash made full use of the light and the backdrops.  Great stuff!

Moving along to something completely different.  Wednesday.  Now you must admit Wednesday is definitely different from Saturday.  However, there were other differences besides the spelling.

On Wednesday I worked at the King Power Stadium for LOROS.  It was the annual LOROS ladies' lunch.  Jennifer, Lady Gretton, the Lord Lieutenant of Leicestershire was there as was Dr Hilary Jones, the famous television doctor.  He was giving the main talk and was very, very good.  

There were 600 women there.  

Scary.

I defy anyone out there to tell me they've seen a better picture of a dog dressed up as two pirates carrying a treasure chest today.

Things are about to get very, very busy, so off to Somerset with the BSA for a couple of days. 

I'm really looking forward to this, bashing around my old stamping ground.  Fingers crossed for good weather so hopefully I'll be back with all parts refreshed and ready to rock with all kinds of Toastmaster and performance work about to kick in.

Bring it on!!!!

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

Who would be a Toastmaster?

...................I would!

A toastmaster's life is a pretty good one at the moment with a lot of work coming in.

 

A lot.

 

In the last week Class In A Coat has had four confirmed bookings and another three good enquiries.

This is A Good Thing.

All of these bookings (and they are not just weddings) are exciting, but there are one or two that are particularly worthy of note. I have just taken a booking for an Asian wedding at Twickenham

You remember Twickenham? It's where England had quite a good result against Ireland this year.

 You remember Ireland?  That's the team that Stephen Ferris plays for. Do you remember Stephen Ferris?

He's the chap who, before the match, said he always liked beating England at Twickenham because they were such bad losers.  

Hmm.

I have a very positive enquiry for another Indian wedding in Venice.

Yes, that's right. Venice.

No, I do not mean Stoke on Trent.

There is a difference.

The biggest problem for me is that I am already booked around the required days.  We shall see.

Tomorrow I am off to one of the most stunning venues in the country, Wrest Park

Although I have performed there a lot doing other stuff

tomorrow is quite a big day as it is my first Toastmaster job there. Although not as big a day for me as it is for Amar and Krupali whose wedding it is.

Not too much else happening.  Too busy with work to be experiencing much of village life at the moment, but I am sure I will be ably to keep all you Frisby Followers up to speed with all large developments.

More soon

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

Related articles

• England are 'bad losers' says Ireland's Stephen Ferris (independent.co.uk)

Whatever the weather...........

Well despite everything the weather could throw at us last Saturday Nisha's and Jinesh's wedding was BRILLIANT!!

It did not stop raining all day and it was freezing 

but everyone had a wonderful time.  It was everything I love about Indian weddings, bright, colourful and exuberant.  It was a delight to be their Toastmaster. One of the highlights for me was the dancing by Jinesh's nieces

 This isn't them, but a similar great dance.

So following such a brilliant day in Hemel, I went to Husband's Bosworth for the Pink Confetti Great Wedding Day Out show.

It was in a tent.

In a field.

It rained.

And rained.

And r.......

This was a shame.  It was a shame because it could have been really good.  However spirits were kept up by The Rockolas, a terrific rock and roll band.  They were a hoot.

 So back outside this coming weekend for the lovely English Heritage at the equally lovely Audley End.  I did this show last year and came back with a suntan.  I think I'll be brown after this year's show, but it will be from over exposure to the elements.

I have lost some weight recently.

Work still comes in.  I have just taken a booking for a Sikh wedding at Twickenham in October and an enquiry for another wedding in Venice for August! Wooohoo!

And so gentle reader I must go... "Parting is such sweet sorrow" as Shakespeare put it.  What a grand old chap Shakespeare was.  Bald but sexy.

Live Long And Be Toastmastered.

Related articles

• A Madrigal (by William Shakespeare) (tranceworldnow.wordpress.com)

Whatever the weather..........

..... I just wish it was a bit drier!!!!!

Apparently the country is in the grip of a drought, but it has hardly stopped raining in April.  Wednesday was very bad.  I began to get concerned when on The Bell car park I saw an old geezer building a big boat and collecting pairs of animals.  The Frisby piglets were included!

Anyway, another reason I am hoping the weather clears up is that it is Nisha and Jinesh's wedding tomorrow and I am to be their Toastmaster. It promises to be a very busy Asian wedding at the Watermill in Hemel Hempstead with an early start! More on that next week.

On Sunday I am at the fabulous Pink Confetti Wedding Show at Bosworth Hall.

So all in all a pretty busy weekend which means this week's missive must draw to a close.

Live Long And Be Toastmastered.

Home again home again.......

The title is relevant to my son Jack who is coming home from Meribel on Saturday, hopefully in one piece, and hopefully inspired with the opportunities that life can offer.  Yay, go for it son!

Well life at Toastmaster Towers is busy, busy, busy and it is good.  Had a lovely meeting yesterday evening with Nisha and Jinesh about being a Toastmaster at their wedding in a week or so.  I love this stage of weddings, the bride and the bridegroom are always so excited and scared.

Last weekend I stood at the fabulous Sanjay Foods Wedding Showcase. It was a fabulous, if very long, day.  There were over a hundred brides through the door, and many of them it seemed were very open to the thought of a Toastmaster running their Asian wedding.

Not only that, up popped a reporter and producer from Radio 4 who were doing a programme about Asian weddings to go out in May.  The reporter, Yasmeen Khan was delightful and may even turn up at Nisha and Jinesh's wedding for a couple of interviews.

On other fronts then.... recently heard about a chap doing genitalia sculpture at weddings.  "The Thanksgiving Turkey" and "A Bat" are apparently firm favourites.  I shall endeavour to find out more about this singular example of performance art, although sadly I don't know if I'll manage photographs!

 In Frisby, the village is alive to the news that some of our esteemed allotmenteers have a trio of piglets!  

Brilliant!

And talking of brilliant....(now wasn't that a smooth transition?) my mate and erstwhile nephew, Thomas, he of Working Class Heroes fame, sent me the following clip, which I think is absolutely BRILLIANT!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=316AzLYfAzw

I would so love to do this in Frisby, or even Melton.  The only problem there is that the locals would join in.

Well gentle reader, enough for now.  More of this drivel next week.

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

Related articles

• Asian Scene, Star 10th April, 2012- The Mass Indian Wedding (harleenjabs.wordpress.com)

Back to Friday blogs. A wedding Toastmaster's life?

Well here we are back at Friday publishings, after a pretty wonderful month or so.

Not only is it back to Friday publishings, but straight back into work, both performing and as a Toastmaster, but more of that in a few minutes.

First off is about the holiday.  Oh come on, have I mentioned we've been to South Africa?  Oh I haven't?  We've been to South Africa.  One of the many memorable experiences was whilst watching an ant-hill it looked as though someone had chucked a grenade into a group of warthogs.  They went everywhere.  Then suddenly in the middle was a huge, hungry leopard.

 

 It was amazing.  The leopard went home hungry.  Here is a picture of the very leopard:

Doesn't he look hungry?

We saw geese flying north for the winter.

Next we come to my son Jack.  

After many trials and tribulations he ended up back in Meribel workin for Total Ski in an hotel.  This meant he could ski almost to his heart's content.

A couple of weeks ago he told me he was practising back-flips and I wasn't to tell his mum.  I asked him if he was using an airbag.  He asked me if I would be upset if he lied to me!

He landed it.

 

Loads happening on the wedding and Toastmaster front.  

This weekend is the super-duper Sanjay Foods wedding show at the Leicester Marriott.  Appearance here is by invite only and I am really chuffed to have been asked.  Obviously there will be an emphasis on Asian weddings.  Working hard on some new stuff for wedding shows and some of it will be on display on Sunday. Technology. I will keep you up to speed gentle reader.

Talking of wedding shows I have just signed up for the Pink Confetti wedding show at Bosworth Hall on 29th April.  Not sure how this one will go, but hey - it's not too expensive so we shall see how it goes.

All these shows are very well of course, but it's the work that matters and I have a Hindu wedding for Nisha and Jinesh in Hemel Hempstead on 28th.

Bring on the work!

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

I'm back...... James Brown!

I am well and truly back gentle reader after a simply wonderful holiday.  I could bore you to tears with the adventures.  The Stunning sunset over the ocean seen from the top of Table Mountain

The incredible majesty and beauty that was Victoria Falls

...........and the incredible sight of a really fed up leopard who had just missed a warthog

I saw all of these things and much more besides, and I suspect over the coming weeks that I will bore you, gentle reader, rigid with them. Something for you to look forward to there then.

Just a couple extra things that amazed me and they all happened at Victoria Falls.  A Japanese woman wearing a smog mask.  I ask you, you could not find cleaner air with more active ozone in it anywhere in the world!

Next came the person walking along with an umbrella.  The rain goes up at Victoria Falls, and finally a woman walking along with a shower cap on.

Just seemed very strange to me.

Americans.  I like Americans.  This is a great generalisation I know, and I am not necessarily talking about the country's politics and policies.  No, I am talking about individuals.

One of my oldest and dearest friends is an American (stand up please Mr Jay Selberg of Cousins Island Maine) and on this trip once again I met some lovely people from that great land.  There was Dave and Therese from Texas with whom we shared a lunch with a baboon.

There was the lovely couple we met at Victoria Falls who were well travelled and from Miami, and last and by no means least there was the delightful trio of young ladies who were just tremendous fun at Nottens Bush Camp.

Anyway, more of the holiday in the coming weeks.

Back home it was quickly back to normal.  A couple of bookings as Toastmaster for weddings came in whilst I was away. One is an Asian wedding for Jinesh and Nisha at the end of April at The Watermill, and one for summer 2013 in Knossington.  All good stuff.  Along with that I was at the Wrest Park wedding show on Sunday which seemed to go pretty well.

The sun shone and the venue was stunning, as ever.

This weekend sees that start of the summer's performances.  Off to Dover Castle for English Heritage with "The Tales Of Robin Hood" and "Horatio's Last Hurrah!"  Hopefully the weather will be good, it has been known for us to have to clear away snow before performing at this job!

Well gentle reader I shall leave you now.  No missive once again this Friday, hopefully your worlds will endure and you can pick up again in a couple of weeks.

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

Great quiz

Last Friday night, along with my mod mate Jonty Lovesay (he of 1965 Lambretta fame) and his bird Pam, we went to the grand fund-raising quiz with fish and chip super at Hoby Village Hall.  What a hoot!  The quiz was largely organised and run by the notorious, may I even say infamous Sharkey.

Sharkey runs a market stall selling fresh fish, and he brought all his costering skills to the evening.  We narrowly lost the quiz to a Hoby team of twice our number and I won a mountain bike in the Heads and Tails.  Interesting for me - I usually run heads and tails, but the best bit was when Sharkey introduced the vicar.

There were over a hundred people at the quiz and in his introduction Sharkey said, "I want to introduce the vicar now to say a few words. Bear with him because he's a bit nervous as he's not used to speaking to so many people".  Absolutely brilliant.

For nearly a year now there has been a dispute over the access to the gravel pits at the bottom of our lane.  

A developer has taken it over and is trying to stop people from walking around it as they have done for over fifty years.  It was brought to a head this week when the developer dug a moat to stop people from Frisby accessing the path.  The chap seems to have made a big mistake as he has brought The Environment Agency down upon his head.  

The whole dispute has been characterised by the inefficacy and appeasement of our Parish Council  which just seems to have caved in every time the developer does something.  The latest example of this has been the circulation of a letter to the village accepting without any dispute that the people of Frisby are in the wrong.  An indication of how the PCC regards the lakes problem is that the subtitle on the PCC page of the village website has no link.  One of the biggest disputes this village has faced since the great sodium street lamp row, and they have nothing to say.

Gentle reader you can keep abreat of the drama as it unfolds by taking a look at the Facebook page "Save free public access to Frisby Lakes.  It really is gripping.  No, really.

So to change the subject completely then, let's go to last week's wedding show at Stapleford.  Class In A Coat was there with me in full Toastmaster uniform doing my best.  Not too bad a show.  I had a pretty good enquiry awaiting me by the time I arrived home.  There was a bit of an emphasis upon the Asian wedding market, but I'm not too sure how effective it was.  However the sun shone and Stapleford looked beautiful.

Well gentle reader, there is unlikely to be any kind of rambling (in the literary form) from me for the next couple of weeks. I will be doing another kind of rambling. Around South Africa.  Cape Town, Victoria Falls and Safari.  

 

How cool is that?

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

We told you we had a good time....... some of the time at least.

Where to start this week then?  The good or the bad?  

Mostly this week has been good so let's apply a little logic and start with the bad.

On Tuesday we went to see "A Long Day's Journey Into Night" by Eugene O'Neill at the Theatre Royal Nottingham.  A bit of an ordeal.  I remember that it wasn't a barrel of our laughs from reading it at college. Apparently it's a 20th Century American Classic. It does not rate in the same league as either a Ford Mustang,

nor Dirty Harry.

Long (oh, so long) over written and lacking in any kind of subtlety.  The obvious family issues were not hinted at.  You were bludgeoned with them.  I could have gone down the pub to listen to such obvious family rows.  The performances, notably by David Suchet were brilliant.  But.......

I suppose I could have stayed in and pretended I was in a synchronised swimming team by smiling in the bath.

So what was/is good about the week then?

I did an after dinner speech on Wednesday evening at Skechley Grange Hotel for the Hinckley and Bosworth Tangent Club.  It went very well with some nice things said and quite a few laughs during the speech even, occasionally, in the places they were meant to be!  I was in my best Toastmaster suit and this reflected the content of the speech.  There are more of these on the way.  All good stuff!

Regular readers (you both know who you are and you really do need to get out more) may recall from a couple of weeks ago me telling of the fabulous murder mystery events held at Stapleford.  We worked hard on the scripts and the performance and all the participants entered into the swing of things.  Here are a few pictures.............

This is us teaching people to do the Black Bottom.  A little like the blind leading the blind.

Every inch the hams!

I could die a happy man!

I think we will be mounting a bit of a push on these.

Also, connected with Stapleford, they are having their wedding show this weekend, so I will be there promoting Class In A Coat.  This will be the third show I have done out there and I usually pick a job or two up. Besides Stapleford is a fabulous place to be. Hopefully, their much anticipated new Wedding Website and video will be live soon.  It should have been ready by the end of January. I'm sure it would have been beneficial to have it ready for the show but hey-ho.  It's not Stapleford, but the contractor company I presume.

Also this week the brilliant Sanjay Foods has just offered me a stand at their showcase at the Leicester Marriott in April.  I must admit I jumped at the chance!

So that's about it for this week, gentle reader.  On the big countdown now for the Africa trip.  Oooooo that's exciting.

Live Long And Be Toastmastered

Related articles

• Eugene O'Neill - Long Day's Journey Into Night (realstorypublishing.com)