Class In A Coat

It ain't arf 'ot..................

The Easter break at Dover Castle was anything but a break - it was HOT! Very, very HOT!

The new tent survived its baptism of fire, and in fact looked very big, but pretty good.

 
However did I mention it was big?  Anyone looking over from France would have thought a new white cliff had sprung up at Dover Castle.  Also, the first time the tent was set up was quite fraught.  In fact, "There were blue words over, the white tents of Dover......."  (Thanks Jonty.)

This hot weather has also occasioned a potentially scurrilous tale about Hammo, that famous resident of Frisby-on-the-Wreake.  Apparently he is now spending his time loitering around the chiller cabinets of Tesco, helping the ladies in their t-shirts with their peas.

Now Dover is not the most blessed of towns in the UK.  It has a magnificent Castle but.... We have tried staying there in the past and it has never really been a pleasant experience and so we decided to stay in Canterbury.

 

Lovely.

A beautiful city with some fantastic architecture. However, Canterbury is very,very POSH!  It is so posh that even the street drunks air-kiss each other when they meet.  This is true.  I saw it happen. More than once.

It's the royal wedding this weekend, along with the extra bank holiday.  London will be rammed.  No matter what you feel about the royal family and the money being spent on the wedding in this time of hardship for many in the country,

 
 and the quite interesting row over the guest list (only Tory ex-prime ministers being invited, no Labour ones), there is nowhere else in the world that can do pomp and pageantry like us.  I am sure that as a spectacle it will be stunning.

 

Well off to the gorgeous Audley End today for a Victorian weekend.

 

The 'phone has gone a little quiet on the Toastmaster front - but then that is par for the course at this time of year, it's now time to work through the bookings that came in earlier.  My next job is at the gorgeous Stapleford Park.

 

It is for Louise and Michael whom I met a few weeks ago.  They are delightful and it will be a lovely day.

Anyway, time to go and shove few kids up some chimneys to get myself ready for the Victorian weekend.

Live Long and be Toastmastered.

Great weekend.................

The weekend in the Lake District was brilliant.  The sun shone, the scenery was superb, the activities great fun.  The best of these was the Ghyll Scrambling.

 
It was terrific.

Back to the first bite from the new website.  It was for a wedding at Christmas in Cheshire.  A long way to go.  I have a suspicion that my fee might be a little too high as I know there are many Toastmasters in that neck of the woods who work very "Economically".  (That was a euphemism.)

Now the big news on the Toastmaster front is a three day job I've picked up for the end of May/beginning of June. It's a long story.

Last September I was Toastmaster for Clare and Rob at Hedsor House in Buckinghamshire.

 

It was a lovely, lovely wedding and whilst there I worked with some excellent people, among whom was Brian from Taylor's Cuisine. Brian contacted me to see if I would be interested in a three day job working as a butler at Tofte Manor

 
(Spot the gag?  I know you have Andy) I've never buttled before!  Anyway it's for the American band "Journey" who are starting their UK tour at Wembley Stadium on the Saturday. 

 

 

 

 

        

 

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



I am really looking forward to it.  These guys are really big on the other side of the pond. A couple of them kicked off their careers with Carlos Santana , one of my all time favourites.

Their big number is "Don't Stop Believin'"  I must admit, this is likely to be a "dining out on"  tale for a while to come!

Well this week's offering is going to be a day early and a little shorter than usual. (That's no bad thing I hear you murmur gentle reader.) This is because we are off to Dover Castle  with English Heritage for the Easter weekend with THE NEW TENT! 

 

 
Hopefully when I come back I can show you pictures of the beauty at work.  It's very big.

 

Anyway time to go to Dover. 

 

More next week.

Live long and be Toastmastered

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reckless Eric........

There is a local chap (Hoby based)
whom we shall call Eric.  We shall call him Eric for no other reason than it could be his name.

Eric (that could be his name, on the other hand....) spent his working life as a driver of many large things.  Things like buses and coaches and such.  He has just been busted for driving a mobility scooter whilst drunk.

Only in the Wreake Valley........................

Well the wedding last weekend at the Sofitel at Terminal 5 was BONKERS!!!  Usually Indian weddings have ceremonies spreading over several weeks.

A month or two before the wedding day there is the Chunri ceremony, where the bride is dressed by the bridegroom's family.  Then about the week before the ceremony there is the civil wedding, and then there is the Indian wedding ceremony which in itself can take up to two and a half hours.  Each of these sections involves a complete dress change for just about everyone.

Last Saturday it all happened on the one day.  Given the whole idea of there being time, time in the sense that that is what most people work to, that is fine.  Then there is "Indian Time" which is an entirely different concept.  It amounts to little more than a polite suggestion. I managed to keep things right on track until after the civil ceremony, which I was really chuffed with.  In the end I was about an hour over time, which when you consider he day started at 8.00 and finished at 22.00 was pretty good.  I felt sorry for the priest, the excellent Mr Bhat, who had to be there for even longer than me, and the photographer had taken as many pictures by the end of the Chenri than he usually does in a whole ceremony.  The caterers, Madhu's provided 5 quite separate meals through the day, a real achievement when you consider there were over 500 people to feed.  All the professionals did an amazing job.

The other really big news is that the new website is launched.  Gentle reader, if you can spare the time to have a look www.classinacoat.co.uk, I would be very grateful of any feedback.  Needless to say it has been technologically challenging for me!

 Not working this weekend - a family trip up to the Lake District, or more specifically Lake Coniston, and Thurston, the outdoor pursuits centre that brother-in-law Andy runs.

  It is simply stunning and the weather is set fair.  Coniston, of course is famous for being where Donald Campbell died in Bluebird 

 

 So it will be back for a few days and then we start our English Heritage work with performances at Dover, with our new tent!

 
It is very big!!!

Will be out with the red coat again in May!

Live Long and be Toastmastered

  

 

Just as well I wasn't buying trousers

A little background first.....

I had to pop into Leicester, to the excellent Pat Keeling Model Agency to have some more photographs taken.  Whilst there I took the opportunity to go to John Lewis which is in The High Cross Centre.  You know the High Cross Centre - it's the one I'm in the middle of the advertising picture for....

 
Haven't I mentioned it?

Anyway, I had picked up four champagne flutes to buy and was walking to another part of the store to buy something else.  I was accosted by two staff.  Now normally I really rate the service in John Lewis.  I think it is exemplary, BUT..... whether or not these two women recognised me from the publicity (unlikely), or they felt that my advanced age and decrepitude rendered me unable to carry the glasses (sadly more likely), they descended upon me.  They both grabbed the glasses at which point my phone rang.  I tried to answer it.  I ended up shouting down the phone, but at the ladies "Not now, leave them....."  Heaven knows what the caller thought.  In the end the glasses were wrestled from me.  Thank heavens I wasn't buying trousers.

This ad is getting everyewhere!  Take a look at this: 
medieval, tent, medieval tent, hoistorical tent,It's a hoot!

Our newe tent has arrived in time for the sumer season.  It looks pretty cool, but is ENORMOUS!

 
It was made by an ace company called Heritage Tents and I can see that it calls for a medieval party some time in the summer. 

I am off to the Sofitel on Saturday to be Toastmaster at the wedding of Bhavini and Kushal.  There will be about 500 people there so should be fun.  Certainly Bhavini has been great to deal with so far - she is so well organised!

Summer is approaching and whilst we are doing pretty well there is no doubt that there are far fewer big summer events going on, especially those backed by local authorities. This is a massive shame, as once they have gone there isn't a chance they will return.

Amongst these casualties is Stourhead.   

Image via Wikipedia

  

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

We worked the Fete Champetre at Stourhead Gardens for the National Trust for many years and made many amazing friends and have many incredible stories to tell. 

I think my favourite is of an event about ten years ago.  We had been working all evening and had a young Jack with us.  We had sat together and watched the Fireworks and the evening was over.  Now was the time for over 5000 people to try to exit through an exit the size of a five bar gate.

We, however, knew better.  We were camping up at the house and knew a back way.  This meant a walk up through the woods and over a gate at the top.  It was dark.  It was very, very dark.  It was as black as your hat.

We puffed our way up to the top of the path towards the gate and as the trees thinned out and the moonlight filtered through, we saw a pale smudge on the ground ahead of us. As we got closer it became apparent that it was a couple making Shakespeare's two-backed monster.  As we drew closer still the guy jumped up and shouted.  "Just give me a bit of time - three minutes.....no two minutes....no a minute, just give me a minute!"  In the meantime the young llady was up and dressed and running off laughing her head off, closely followed by the guy, hitching his trousers up as he went. 

Jack (ten years old) asked "What were they doing?"

"Having sex" came the curt and simple reply.

"What OUTSIDE?!!!!!!!!" was his outraged response.

This wasn't the end of it though.  Oh no.  As they ran  off Gayna started to get over the fence.  She stood there with one leg either side of the fence and called down the path after the fleeing couple, "We're sorry to have disturbed you, but this is the only place we can get our leg over!"

Such moments life stories are made of.

Well gentle readers, enough for now.  Must prepare everything for Bhavini's wedding as it is an early start - I have to be at Heathrow suited and booted for 9.30.

So, Live long and be Toastmastered

 

 

 

Another appearance for...................

..............Rohan

Regular, or more importantly long-standing, readers may recall a tale of a local lad called Rohan and his brilliant exploits at schools sports day.  I have another Rohan tale that again tickled me somewhat.

Rohan popped into the village shop for some sweets.  He made his selection and Postman Pete came back with the somewhat conventional "That will be £1.25 please Rohan"

"Ah, well the thing is Pete, mum and dad don't like me to carry money so can you put it on their account please?"

Genius.

Alex and Gail had no idea about this until they had to take out a second mortgage to pay for Rohan's sweet bill.  Mind you I think they were a little concerned when they saw the subscription for "Esquire".  Apparently Kelly Brook is a particular favourite.

   

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Still on village matters....

 

By the time you read this Lynne and Barry will have left "The Bell".



As ever there are all kinds of rumours about the new landlords.  Apparently the pub will be shut for a week whilst kitchen extensions are being carried out.  This is a good thing, the pub will only survive if the food side picks up a great deal.

And a few days later here is a bit of a catch up.  Today is Thursday and tonight the new chef at "The Bell" is having a taster evening.  Emma, one of the staff there popped in yesterday and found him making bread.  I assume she meant



and not..................................

 
 

 It's a good trick if you can manage it.

Whilst performing in Oxfordshire this week I went to see my mate Zippo's new circus show in Oxford.

 

 

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A superb juggling act, a brilliant bolero act and quite possibly the best, most exciting act I have ever seen in a circus, or possibly anywhere else for that matter, The Globe of Death.

  

Un .......be......liev......able.

 Friday morning now.  The pub had sold out of almost all its beer by 10.00.  I'm not sure what I am impressed with.  The number of people who turned up or their drinking capacity.  Hammo was there, naturally.

One last note before I leave you for this week gentle reader.  The annual excellent beano that is Fristock is looming and tickets are going fast, very fast. 



Book yours soon or be square.  (That's not quite right is it?)

 Anyway, Live Long and Be Toastmastered