Class In A Coat

Eyebrows

Colin Farrel has a comedy eyebrow.

This picture does not give full vent to its comedic qualities. Watch "In Bruges" Quite apart from the fact it's a fine film, the eyebrow steals the show. You'll never be able to watch it now without thinking about it. Hahahaha

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This is in fact a rimless hat, but Colin's eyebrow has been trained to act as a brim and keep the rain and sun from his eyes.

Well, what an incredible weekend has just passed. So much happened that I think I will probably have to split things into two parts. I had two weddings to work at, both were great fun, but in very different ways, I then had to rush off to London for a job on Monday morning and then back to Sherwood Forest on Tuesday for some Robin Hood stuff. Then back home to get ready for this weekend.

Perhaps the best bit of the weekend though was a bit I didn't get to, the Frisby Old Farts Football Club's awards night,held in the luxurious and salubrious surroundings of Frisby Village Hall. It sounded as though it was a real success. The food was superb and the evening an absolute riot.

It was treated like an Oscars awards night with winners getting a copy of the famous statuette.

(At least I think they are copies)

I won an award! Yes, I have an Oscar. My award was for "A Lifetime's Achievement". Because I was not going to be there I, as is the tradition, had to pre-record my acceptance speech :

I'm sorry I missed it, it must have been a great night, judging by all the tales I've heard.

I wasn't there because I was busy at weddings. On Saturday I was at the wedding of Gemma and Cam near Hitchin in Herts. Posh do in a lovely marquee by a lake. The bridal party arrived in two beautiful horse-drawn carriages and the wedding was run with great style and aplomb by Ian Shepherd of Hospitality House .  The food was terrific. Largely due to a long receiving line of eight for 180 people the wedding ran a little late which meant I was late arriving at the hotel in Birmingham for my next job, due to start at Stupid o'clock on Sunday morning.

It was the wedding of Roopa and Vikesh at Edgbaston cricket ground

There were 650 people there for breakfast, the ceremony and lunch, then another 500 people for the evening bash.  The whole thing was organised and co-ordinated by the Lakhani Group. This was no mean feat, and the room in the morning with the Mandap and everything set up looked fantastic.

 


This is me in front of the Mandap

 

And this is me with the happy couple!

 
It was a long, long day, but great fun and Roopa's mum and dad in particular were an absolute delight.

There is a lot more to tell - things about our new tent, the latest village happenings and so on and the busy weekend coming up, however that will all have to wait until another time.

Live Long and be Toastmastered

It's all go................

And some.

 

Saturday was particularly busy with the clowns and Fire-engine out at Brackley Carnival.

Very wet.

Then in the evening it was over to Luton for the Bedfordshire Grand Summer Ball at the University of Bedfordshire.

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It all seemed to go swimmingly and oodles of cash was raised.

Sunday was spent entertaining Grandad Wallace and Nana Grommit . This is always an event. Always good fun.

Then it was back to work!

Then it was back to work!

Back to the lovely Tofte Manor in Bedfordshire to be a butler again. This time, somewhat disappointingly it wasn't for another great visiting Rock Band, but for a conference of Rolls Royce Managers.

It was really hard work! Really hard work.

(Now this picture came up when I googled "Tired Butler Pictures." Anyone?) However the team I was working with was great, particularly the people from Taylors Cuisine. One of the great perks of this job is the food. Very often I eat and drink far beyond the standard that I would normally eat and drink at when away from home. Beef Wellington

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and lamb parcels were particular favourites this week. It's probably just as well the work was hard, otherwise I'd end up a right Jabba

So a marquee wedding on Saturday and Edgbaston on Sunday and then down to London for an acting bit on Monday.  I love being busy!

I must now offer an apology for the pathetic so-called rant I put in last week's epistle.  My mate big Andy pointed out ot me how weak it was in no uncertain terms and............. he was right!  I have another rant stored, but I can't let it out because of possible returns.

We are all protective of our children.  However it can blind us to potential problems.  Particularly in a commercial situation.  Sometimes things go wrong in commercial situations and the correct response has always been, or at least should be, to address customers complaints with, "Of course sir/madam.  I will see what we can do."  To lose one's rag and offend very influential local potential customers is not always a good idea.

Tomorrow night is the big FOFFC presentation night in the village hall. Unfortunately I'm not around, but it promises to be a great night.It's also Glastonbury weekend.

 

Here is a picture of our village pub. The Bell

Live long and be Toastmastered.

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What larks.......

I've had a bit of a look through and notice I haven't had a rant for quite some time. Most if my rants are about peoples' professionalism or lack of it. So in case this is something you have been missing here comes a quick blast.

Very often the bane of a Toastmaster's life at a wedding is the photographer.

They almost never work to time and very often lose sight of who the day is about - the bride and bride groom, sometimes confusing it with their own artistic desires.

However there are times when other agencies let things down.

I work as a Toastmaster in the wedding industry. I work hard and I am well paid. I think I deserve the money I get. However I get very annoyed when I see people who should know better, people like hotels and so on, quite blatantly ripping people off because it is a wedding. Little things like charging extra for putting down a scrappy piece of red carpet that doesn't even line up with the approach to the required room are a disgrace. (Wait with me - I'm just getting to the photographer bit.) The automatic extra that goes on dresses if they are known to be for a wedding and so on.

Anyway, photographers. I recently worked at a wedding where the photographer was allowed just one hour between the end of the church service to the call through for the wedding breakfast. This was an incredibly short amount of time. However the photographer, whom we shall call Chris, was a top bloke and worked hard within these restraints. We pulled out all the stops due to prompting from the venue and I was ready to call through just five minutes late. The venue wasn't ready. They were not ready for another thirty minutes. They would have gone ape

if they had had to wait for the photographer for that long. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Occasionally, in my work as a Toastmaster, people say some amazing things. Very often they have had a drink or two and simply do not realise what they are saying. Recently I was working away, doing my best Master of Ceremonies bit when a man, quite close to the organisation of the event came to me and asked if I knew a ceertain individual. I responded in the negative. He went on. "He was a Tower Warder and then became a town crier and he does this" (meaning toastmastering)."Mind you he's really good." (Implying I was crap.) We wanted him but he was busy. No disrespect" I thought this was hilarious. I think it was the "No disrespect" thing that was so funny.

Last Friday it was the wedding of Leigh and Abigail at Burghley. It was a marquee on the grounds of Burghley Cricket Club. Marquee weddings are a little like buses. I don't do one for ages and them I am Toastmaster at two or three all together. The pavilion at Burghley was delightful.

The wedding was lovely, as were Leigh and Abigail. The best thing though was the band. They were the Houndogs www.thehoundogs.co.uk. They were brilliant! They looked and sounded superb.

I don't quite know what is happening at the moment, but I seem to be pretty popular. Another four days' Toastmastering in this week, including a very short notice wedding for Mrs Patel through Lakhani at Edgbaston on Sunday 26th. It's all go!

Live Long and Be Toastmastered

What a weekend!!!!

Well quite a lot to tell you today about the past week.

Last weekend was a big affair in the life of many if the residents of that centre of all things good in the known world, Frisby-on-the-Wreake.

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It was open gardens weekend! And we actually managed to get through it without any of the committee physically assaulting and killing each other.  Believe me it was a very close run thing at times.  Everything you see, read and hear in fiction about village life is born out at times in Frisby.  It is brilliant.

The weekend itself was great.  It brought lots of visitors to the village. . 
Who all seemed to have a lovely time. Over £7000 was raised.  Tim and Linda, the new landlord and landlady at The Bell  put on a barbecue and there were art exhibitions, teas, cocktails and a really good photographic exhibition in St Thomas' Church partly organised by Greavsie.

Greavsie is a too oft overlooked village hero.  He was the founder of the village wine society from which so much has sprung.  He and his wife, Sylvia are often seen around the village tramping the lanes.  John is always four steps ahead of Sylvia and some people get very exercised about this.  Personally I think Sylvia is a very, very intelligent woman for one reason.

Landmines.

My favourite story though was about an old man who turned up late in our garden.  He was 94.  We know he was 94 because he told us and I have no reason to doubt him  With him came his family - they were no spring chickens themselves and the slope on our drive nearly finished them off.  He said to his daughter, with a gleam in his eye, "Tell them what I do"  She opened her mouth to speak, "I dig holes" he interjected.  "I dig holes in the lawn with an adze."

"He does", she said.  "I have to fill them in."

"Bet you don't know what an adze is."

We duly produced our adze.

 

The nonagenarian was very impressed.  "Do you want to sell it?"

"NO" came his daughter's response before gathering him up and whisking him away.

Weekly readers may remembeer me waxing lyrical in my last posting about my time working as a butler for the band "Journey". They fixed me up for some VIP tickets for the Sunday night show at the LG Arena at the NEC.  The whole thing was great.  We were taken in to see the band before the show and they gave me a cheer!  I was quite overcome! Jack and I had our picture taken with them.

 

  
That's me between Arnel the singer and Ross the bassist, whilst Jack is between Jonathan the keyboards player and Dean the fabulous drummer.  I think Dean's solo number was the highlight of the show for me. In the middle is Neal.  His guitar playing was stupendous!

We were backstage to see the start of the support band, Foreigner and then caught most of their set from our brilliant seats - we didn't have to watch it on the big screen we were so close!

Journey's set was fabulous and we all left very happy bunnies.

 

 

 Well I have a marquee wedding at Burghley Park today.  I've not been a Toastmaster at too many Marquee weddings.  We shall see how it goes!

Live Long and be Toastmastered.

 

 

 

 

Panic over............

The sub text has gone.

Phew.

God is back in his heaven and all is right with the world.

I have just spent an amazing three days at the gorgeous Tofte Manor.

I was working as a butler for the modern American pop combo, "Journey".

It was fabulous.

Firstly, they were a delightful group of people, some of whom have been involved in the rock business for a long, long time. They are, or have been friendly with some of the greats of the rock world - Jeff Beck and John Entwistle just to name a couple. One of them took his son off to hear Clapton play with Stevie Winwood at the Albert Hall - because he knew him! How cool is that?

They were warm and generous-spirited. They left Bedfordshire today to go to the Royal Garden Hotel in Kensington (I was Toastmaster at a wedding there last year) and they are playing Wembley on Saturday and then the NEC in Birmingham on Sunday. I am going to be there on Sunday with Jack with VIP tickets. Top banana.

 

Even better news is that more work has come through this already. I'm buttling again at Tofte Manor in a couple of week's time. This time on a corporate "do" for Rolls Royce. This could be a whole new career opening up in front of me.

Talking of careers...... The red coat is on again this weekend for the wedding of Ed and Katy.

More about this and also the NEC concert in next week's missive.

Gentle reader, live long and be Toastmastered.